I didn’t really express my feelings/opinions here. That is one thing that those of you who read my blog can expect, my true feelings and what is going on in my life. I don’t really know how to put this out there but right now I am definitely struggling. The most difficult part is I’m not really sure what it is that is beating me up. I have a few ideas but it’s really just kind of a general funk. If you are spiritual, I could definitely use a quick prayer just for guidance mainly. There just seem to be so many moving parts going on right now, and I am not good at focusing on one thing and then moving on to tackle the next. At times I tend to get stuck via paralysis by analysis where I am trying to do so many different things at once, that all facets struggle.
I am really working on studying for the CPA exam right now. After racking up the student loans to complete the requisite coursework to sit for the exam, I am really struggling to force myself to take that through to fruition. If you know my offline and are not just a reader (I appreciate those readers who have come here and learned who I am and what I’m about), feel free to continue to press me about my CPA studies. I need accountability, and this is something that I feel like the Lord is telling me I need to finish. This could open up so many doors, at possibly put me in a position to do the thing that I love coach all year.
My personal bible study from yesterday included, “The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-27 Such a fitting piece of scripture for me to see at this time, to remember that the Lord is always giving me blessings and that all I need to do is stop doing my thing and start doing His.
Yesterday was another great service at Vineyard Grace Fellowship. I love that our pastor brings us the truth and allows us to deal with things the way He wants us to, and not the way the world wants us to. It was pretty awesome to look at one of the slides our pastor put up on the screen about perceptions of how the church should act. When the congregation looked at it, everyone in the room immediately “knew” that the way we should be was the right hand column. Our pastor then encouraged the men and told us, those things in the left column God wants us to do. I personally felt really encouraged to push forward and fully rely on God as He challenges me to be a warrior for my family.
Last night I also got to enjoy a great experience as leader of sorts. While I am not the head cross country coach, I do feel like a play a small role in the leadership of the high school athletes I work with. Our league had their banquet last night for the first team all-league athletes from football and cross country. We only had the one runner up there, but she was there as the defending and repeat league champion. I don’t think she realizes how inspiring she is to everyone around her, including the coaches, her teammates, and even other runners that just know of her. She humbly accepted her second Runner of the Year award from the league. I’m excited that we’ll get to see her run one last high school 5k cross country race, as she represents Ohio this weekend in the Mideast Cross Country Championships. This has truly been a great season, and all of our seniors will be greatly missed next year. The good side to that is, we know they’ll continue to come back and support their fellow teammates! The group of kids that will still be there can hopefully complete another goal of mine, a team representing our school in the state cross country meet!
So, I haven’t written about it yet but our cross country runner finished 10th place over the weekend at the state meet which gave her all-ohio honors as well as getting to be on the podium. It was a really awesome moment to be a part of, due to all of her work that she put into it, and being a part of the process as well. When you watch the process from beginning to end and see the transformation, the ups and downs, and all the emotion and effort poured into accomplishing something come to fruition it’s one of the most inspiring and exciting things you’ll probably ever do.
Tonight will be the end of the season banquet for the team, which means we’ll be sending off 3 seniors. This group of girls have really gone above and beyond to achieve the things that they have done and also to lead the rest of the team. We will definitely miss having them there all the time, and I guess someone is going to have to take over the leadership role next season. It’s always tough to see things change, like losing 3 varsity runners, but on the other side it is really pretty awesome as well. Next year they’ll move on to another chapter in their lives, and I’m sure we’ll still continue to hear from them and follow-up with their future experiences. They have set the bar very high, with almost no complaining ever and pushing themselves to levels that we hoped they could achieve but never really expected them to get to that level. I can’t say that we’ll have other runners compete at the level that our top runner has this year, but if the future runners all work as hard as this group did we’ll have a really great future.
Let’s go back to what my original post for Wednesday was going to be about, the end of another season of our lives. Fall coming to an end is always one of the more difficult seasons for me to close up. Primarily due to the fact that winter comes, and we get stuck in the house for so long that it really lowers our mood and sense of productivity. I’m going to focus on being as productive and positive as possible, because if I am ready to come out of the winter on fire then next year will undoubtedly get going in the right direction.
Another reason why I miss this time of year, is due to cross country season coming to a close. This season is specifically going to be an awesome moment and a sad moment all at the same time. Tomorrow, one of the best runners that I have ever been around ends her high school cross country career. I look for her to have a great race, and I’m sure a continuation of a great running career as she heads off to college next fall. I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun, and without a doubt she has set the expectations bar very high going forward. I don’t expect everyone to race like she can, but anyone that puts in the hard work like she has will always have a role on our team.
Now for a positive note, I finally hit the weights again on Wednesday and have started to set up my exercise program. Maybe, just maybe, I can turn this flabby body back into an athlete’s body. On top of that, I also intend to get very intentional when it comes to studying to further my education and career this winter by plugging through the CPA coursework. If I’m going to be inside while it’s dark, I might as well push myself!